Editor’s note: This article talks about suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, you can get help by calling or texting 988 or chatting at 988lifeline.org. This story mentions a specific way someone attempted suicide to inform people about its dangers. Suicide researchers, families, and experts were consulted before naming the substance.
Bruce Brown first thought the package delivered to his home in late 2022 contained an athletic supplement. The yellowish-white powder didn’t raise any alarm for him, especially since his 17-year-old son Bennett played competitive soccer. Bennett wasn’t home that night, so Brown texted his son to ask about it, but never got a reply.
The next day, Brown learned the tragic truth: the powder was sodium nitrite, a dangerous chemical that Bennett had ordered to take his own life. Bennett sought medical help shortly after using it, but it was too late. He passed away on the way to the hospital.
“They shipped it to him in two days, and it only cost about $13,” Brown said. “That was the price of my son’s life.”
The low price, fast delivery, and plain packaging highlighted how easily this dangerous product could be accessed. Now, Brown is determined to change that.
Overwhelmed by grief after losing his son, Bruce Brown decided to take action. He helped create a law in Colorado to limit the sale of dangerous chemicals like sodium nitrite in high concentrations. The law passed easily and went into effect in July.
Now, Brown is pushing for a nationwide law, the Youth Poisoning Protection Act, to ban the sale of high-concentration sodium nitrite across the U.S. He hopes this law will save others from the same heartbreak. The bill passed in the U.S. House of Representatives in May and is now waiting for approval in the Senate.
“You lose a child, and there’s nothing worse,” Brown says. “The grief is overwhelming and never-ending. I think about Bennett every hour. He was a great kid—funny, athletic, and well-liked. The irony is he would never hurt anyone else, but he took his own life.”
Brown believes that parents need to be aware of what their kids are doing online. After Bennett died, Brown found out that his son had been visiting an online forum where people discuss suicide and share methods for it. Bennett likely learned about sodium nitrite from this forum.
Bennett’s mental health had worsened during the pandemic when he became isolated from his friends. He also suffered from long COVID, which gave him breathing problems and made it hard for him to sleep or do the things he loved. On top of that, he got a concussion, which may have made his emotional struggles worse.
After learning about sodium nitrite online, Bennett ordered it and used it to try to end his life. He reached out for help after taking it, but it was too late, and he died on the way to the hospital.
Experts like Dr. Christine Yu Moutier emphasize the importance of keeping dangerous items like chemicals and firearms out of easy reach, especially for people at risk of suicide. Limiting access to these things can give someone time to rethink their actions.
Brown hopes that better regulations and more awareness will prevent other families from experiencing the same pain. “My son didn’t really want to die,” he says. “He asked for help after taking the poison, but it was too late. If we can stop people from having quick access to these harmful substances, we can save lives.”
